Monday, July 7, 2008

Whatever you do, don't drink the D4

We spent Saturday at my dad's annual 4th of July weekend barbecue. There were grilled Porterhouse steaks, lots of salads, and as Dad works for a liquor distributor (he calls it doing God's work), an impressive array of drinks like vodka mojitos and pomegranate martinis.

My daughters were scoping out the place, and were hanging out in the guest room. Lauren called Dad in and a few minutes later he emerged with a red bottle.

"I think mostly she just spilled it all over herself and the bed," he said, handing me the bottle. "But I'm not sure if she drank it."

I examined the 30-year-old bottle, which only said "Keep out of reach of children". No ingredient list.

"Did you drink it?" I asked Lindsay.

She nodded, round eyed.

Dad went on the Internet to see if he could determine the ingredients. Alec called Poison Control.

"Poison control said 'It is illegal to have solvents that don't have printed ingredient lists'."

"Who knows how old the bottle was?"

"It looks like bubble solution." Alec said. He stuck his tongue in the bottle and tasted it. "It doesn't taste like anything."

He handed me the bottle. "It doesn't even taste like soap."

"Alright, thanks." He said to the operator and hung up.

"What did they say?"

"They said, 'Go to the emergency room'."

"Huh."

"That it might contain isopropyl alcohol or acetone as an active ingredient."

"I think you'd be able to smell or taste one of those."

"Yeah."

"I think we'll just keep an eye on her instead."

"Sounds like a plan."

Lindsay had no adverse effects, except some pretty foul diarrhea in the morning which could also be attributed to the quarter pound of Oreos she ate.

4 comments:

Round the Bend said...

Okay, you get a point for sheer chutzpah in not listening to the poison control lady.

*I* would have gone to the emergency room, then again, I wouldn't have had to pay for the privilege... ;-)

karen said...

Acetone? For vinyl? Please. Who hasn't tried to use acetone as a cleaner and watched Barbie's face melt off? Rubbing alcohol, maybe, but I think she'd have been more upset by the experience if she'd gotten that into her mouth.

I'll agree with @round's point, but I'm awarding for critical thinking in favor of your own best interests - you know they wouldn't be doing God's work in the ER waiting room.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

The D4 recently celebrated its 25th anniversary in my record cabinet. I remember that I was a bit more active 25 years ago and so apparantly was the D4. Which was shipped to my video store by accident...

Spice Girl said...

My sister's kid once swallowed a lifesaver and she whistled from her throat when she breathed. Beth was advised to go to the ER, but since her older child had swallowed a 20 pence piece the week prior, Beth wasn't keen on doing the ER thing again. So she let it melt. Her daughter eventually stopped whistling. Tee hee.

I'll give you a point though.