Allison-Mom, my black pants smell really bad.
Me-Your concert is in an hour, why are you telling me this now?
Allison-I can't wear them like this, they smell.
Me-Well try not to inhale.
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Me-Ben, Please put baby Jesus back in the manger.
Ben-But I love baby Jesus.
Me-I know Ben, But you might break him.
Ben-Wide Eyed - Break baby Jesus?
Me-Yes, Ben, you know that's not the real baby Jesus, it's just a decoration.
Ben-Oh. The real baby Jesus is tougher?
Me-Yes Ben. Much tougher.
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Allison-Mom, I signed up to bring chicken wings to our party on Thursday.
Me-Chicken Wings?!?!
Allison-tentatively Yes
Me-Allie, we have discussed this.
Allison-Mom, They said they already had all the paper products they needed.
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Me-BEN STOP! I told you that present was for Gramma. What are you doooing?
Ben-Sheepishly- She needs help unwapping it.
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Me-Look Brandon, here's your Michael Vick ornament from last year- giggling.
Brandon-Oh great, we're hanging convicts on our tree now.
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Me-Ben, please, put that ornament back on the tree.
Me-Clara, don't touch!
Me-Ben, stop playing with the ornaments.
Ben-Cwara's taking off the ornments!
Me-Clara, no!
Ben-She's breaking it!! That's mine!
Me-BEN & CLARA GET AWAY FROM THE TREE. Can't you just watch TV?
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7 comments:
I LOVE this post! How the heck can any of you earn any points for this WME thing? To earn points you should at least be able to shock or mortify the GWME (grandparents of WME).
yeah, i'm not sure i can recommend points for making me laugh so hard...because for the smelly pants thing, i've actually put pants in the dryer w/ a dryer sheet or put deodorant on the inside of pants before...too darn funny!!
+1 WMP for hanging a convict on your tree. +1 extra if you made the little hook into a noose...
As to the rest:
Allison likes to sing - adapt Phoebe's "Smelly Cat" song (from Friends) to "Smelly Pants" for her.
To ensure Allie never signs up for chicken wings again, make her pluck the chickens herself, or at least threaten to.
To keep Ben and Cwara off the tree, loosen the supports a bit. Ross pulled our tree over on himself the first year and hasn't gone near a Christmas tree without supervision since!
+1 point for Karen for recommending Joy rig her Convict Tree to fall on her kid.
Karen-actually we did not hang Michael Vick in a noose, we hung him in the jaws of the "Fluffy" ornament, the three headed dog from Brandon's Harry Potter phase.
i think chicken wings should only be on a potluck list if you live in buffalo! i'm all for the smally pants song and noose :)
Make her wear the pants smelly... like my great aunt recommended wearing garlic around your neck in winter to stay well (it keeps the people with germs farther away so they don't sneeze on you).
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