Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I've got my nerve

During this weekend's Bakefest 07, as I've come to call it, I had a lot of help from Kate. Because the items we were baking were to be gifts I spent a great deal of time washing and re-washing Kate's hands and admonishing her not to touch various bits of dough or ingredients. It's a tricky balance, trying to make Baking With Mommy fun while trying to prevent the spread of spit-borne pathogens to ones friends. The shiny sheen of snot upon the cherubic faces of my little darlings had me wiping, washing, rubbing in hand sanitizer and trying to block out thoughts of the grossness all weekend. The skin on my hands is cracked and chapped from my obsessive compulsive behavior.

Where was I? Oh yes. So we're standing there over the bowl of my fabulous new mixer and I'm having Kate dump chocolate chips into the chocolate chip cookie dough. This, I've explained, is the most important part of the process because otherwise the chocolate chip cookies would just be...cookies. I also explained that when you open a new bag of delightfully chunky Ghiradelli chocolate chips you must taste one to be sure they are of the quality you expect for the cookies you're baking. I gave her one. She popped it in her mouth. We continued on. I looked from the bowl of dough back up at her just in time to see her about to push the tongue-moistened chip from her mouth into the dough.

Horrified, I yelled at her. "Kate! What are you doing?!? JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" She sucked the chip back in and looked all shocked and doe-eyed at me. The lower lip began to tremble but I wasn't done. She got quite a talking to about actually spitting into the very dough I'd just explained she should not touch, ending with "...and just what were you thinking spitting out a chocolate chip? Is something wrong with you?" She silently climbed down the steps of the little ladder next to the counter. I heard her go up the stairs and find her daddy. Then I heard her say "Daddy, mommy broke my heart!"

7 comments:

Epiphany Alone said...

Oh I love that. I would've dropped an f-bomb there though. My kids are immune to Mommy's potty mouth. Lauren's even stopped suggesting that perhaps I might want to take that into the bathroom.

I'm dropping 2 WMPs because I doubt that batch was thrown out.

Chaotic Joy said...

Ooof. Ouch. I don't believe that the half eaten chocolate chip ever made it into the batter, but I will concur on the 2 points just for the "broke my heart" comment. While I know meanness doesn't earn points, you have obviously taught this child how to lay a guilt trip on thick. :)

Sister K said...

even if the 1/2 eaten chocolate chip made it into the batter, it would be with love and bake out, right? lol....i agree w/ the awarded points. the "broke my heart" comment...(i gotta agree with kate though, i'm more of an eat the dough than the chips kind of person:)

emmay said...

I agree with the points, only because no mention of an apology was made.
But I'm fighting the urge to suggest deducting a point for all the hand sanitizer and hand-washing.

karen said...

I'll agree with the two point score because of your wild swing from one end of the instruction spectrum to the other. You TOLD her to taste test the chip to be sure it was of the quality you'd want in the cookies. Then, when Kate tried to add her carefully tested chip to the batter, you inexplicably hollered your head off. Really, make up your mind!

The Plaid Sheep said...

Nice.

FlapScrap said...

Did she write a song about it? Maybe: Tollhouse Blues. (Does she have a banjo? She's going to need a banjo or all her songs will be lonesome-like.)