Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Excuse Me, WHAT Did You Just Say?

"Idiot!" There's a pause and some storming around in the hall, "Stupid a$.$!"

"TIME OUT. STAIRS. NOW." I do some storming of my own in the hall. In fact, I storm right past the offender now sulking on the stairs and into the kitchen, where I pump a little Method hand soap (non-toxic) onto one finger and storm back to the time out spot. "OPEN."

He mewls and squirms, covers his mouth with both hands. I glare and curl my lip, hold out my soap finger. He tries to melt into the stairs; cries, "I'll never say it again! I won't!"

"I KNOW YOU WON'T. OPEN." Reluctantly, he does. I smear a bit of soap on his tongue and he instantly begins to emulate a poisoned cartoon character with a series of still-life poses altering between grabbing his neck and arched back, wide splayed arms with jazz fingers.

A few minutes later, when I'm sure he's had full value out of the soap, I let him out of time out. As he stands, I offer, "...and, so you know, it's 'DUMBa$.$'." Would somebody please pass me the soap?

8 comments:

Grandmoo said...

Will some member please give Karen as many points as allowable for one day? What a dumbA#$@! thing to do!

Kicking N. Screaming said...

Yes, OK, a point for that despite the complete lack of bleeding.

Spice Girl said...

Oh, I think it's brilliant. You win this month. I step down. :)

emmay said...

Isn't liquid soap deadly?
Yes, 1WMP.

Kicking N. Screaming said...

It's hand-sanitizer that's deadly but I think if you ate enough the soap could be too.

Missy said...

Wow, and to think all i said to my mother was "i hate you" in order to get the soap-cleansing....

karen said...

Thank you, thank you, one and all. I might want my kid to have PG-rated speech but, since he's going to know 'those' words anyway, he really should get them right.

For the record, his initial comments were directed at his brother - there'd have been a spanking in there too, if he'd been so bold as to toss them at an adult!

Chaotic Joy said...

I am not sure she gets a point for the soap in the mouth, that is good parenting in my book but she totally gets a point for teaching him the correct way to swear. I would even be inclined to give her 2.