Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Really? Antifreeze?

It has come to my attention that most of my worst mothering points come from neglecting to supervise my children properly. I am starting a series of posts on this. Maybe it will help me to change my errant ways. Here's round one from yesterday's adventures:

When we bought my house, there were really only two things I wanted that I didn't get. But they were both biggies. A big back yard for the kids and an open floor plan: i.e. I wanted to be able to see the kids in the living room while I was in the kitchen. Even before the births of Ben and Clara, I somehow knew this would be important. I should have stuck to my guns.

Last night I was making dinner and Ben and Clara were gated in. Gated in means they are contained to the living room and the kitchen, but if you are in one room you can not see into the other. If Clara is not hanging on my feet while I cook I normally only do the occasional covert peeking to see why she is so quiet. If she sees me, immediate whining will commence and making dinner with a whining monkey attached to your leg is particularly unpleasant.

Ben came in the kitchen talking about a mess. I only half way processed it. I was frying bacon - the pork kind people! - and didn't want him near the stove.

"Ben, Go back in the living room. I'll be in, in a minute."

Well a minute must have passed because soon Ben was back at my grease splattering side.

"Mommy. Cwara's pwaying in the water." he said obviously irritated.

"Ben, step back from the stove" I barked. And then thought. Water? What water? Initially thinking someone must have had an "accident." Sighing. Very. Loudly. I took the bacon off the heat, and went into the living room.

And there was Clara sitting on the brick hearth. A pool of liquid and the shattered remains of a small glass snow globe scattered around her. Allison's snow globe. Previously located on a high, thought to be unreachable, shelf. We had obviously underestimated Ben's tenacity and ingenuity. Again.

Apparently tired of splashing in the water, (which I found out through research is not water at all but likely oil or antifreeze) she was gleefully putting pieces of glass in her mouth.

Kinda puts the whole unacceptable levels of lead in Dora in perspective, doesn't it?

***************
By the way, I would like the record to show I only got two pieces of glass in my foot sprinting across the room to remove the shards of antifreeze covered glass from my daughter's mouth. But I would like to warn you that yelling: "No! No! No! No! No! Clara, Damnit, No!" at your 16 month old is likely to scare the crap out of them,

And you can just give up on frying your full-fat bacon in peace after that.

13 comments:

karen said...

I will totally award you a point for ignoring Ben the first time. When a toddler feels the need to report a mess, you have to figure that something is REALLY out of place.

I hope Clara didn't get cuts! Poor girl. She's probably ok with the antifreeze, though. Contrary to what you might have learned from "Heathers," I don't think a few drops of it will kill a person.

Kicking N. Screaming said...

I want to award you a point for swearing in an emergency. I'm hoping to set a precident here because if we keep this up I will surely win a LOT.

I am assuming that Clara is just fine (whew!) and I'm sorry about your foot. I find it mildly ironic that a snowglobe would be filled with anitfreeze...

Kicking N. Screaming said...

Do I get a point for misspelling "precedent" up there? No? Just ridiculed? I guess that's fair.

Kyla said...

Oh man! Scary! This? Is why I don't cook. LOL! I kid, I kid. But really, Josh does the cooking and this is an excellent story to reinforce that behavior. ;)

I'm glad that little Clara was okay and I hope your foot heals nicely.

Spice Girl said...

Snowglobe? I thought those things were indestructible--at least that's the picture Pixar paints in one of their mini-movies, called, I think, "Knick-knack." Anyone know what I'm talking about here?

emmay said...

Glad Clara's okay! Definitely a well-earned point!

Chaotic Joy said...

Karen-I don't really remember "Heathers" but antifreeze was attributed to killing my childhood cat, Patches so I was understandably worried. Fortunately when the globe broke most of it ended up immediately on the ground.

Oh and I agree that the fact that snowglobes are filled with antifreeze is actually quite funny, you know if your child doesn't drink it. How does all that snow survive in there?

Ging-Not indestuctable at all. It was a very small snowglobe but I was shocked at how thin the glass was. I think it may even have been thinner than a broken lightbulb but not conveniently white so I could easily find the pieces.

Don and Lynn said...

Joy, my guys did in a Halloween snowglobe this year. I was clued in when Brett walked up to me with his pants all wet and the orange and black "snow" all around his mouth. It was one of those stupid plastic ones, that I THOUGHT was indestructible. Never met the likes of 2 toddler boy twins, I reckon! They were splashing in the antifreeze water, and I'm sure they ingested some, too. They are no worse for the wear! Maybe she'll sleep better the next couple of days-lol! I hope your foot and Clara's mouth is okay!

karen said...

Spice, I'm with you on Knick-Knack! Long live Pixar and the nearly two hours of quiet they are able to command almost every time.

Grandmoo said...

Whoooh! Please back up; I'll recommend lotsa points, but please note: Antifreeze tastes EXTREMELY sweet; hence the urge to ingest the danged stuff (but a good way for you to test it). I would hope that nobody (other than maybe China) would put antifreeze in a glass snow globe that attracted children.

Epiphany Alone said...

Hmm, I hadn't weighed in on this, but I am inclined to agree with Karen, that the point is for ignoring Ben. The snowglobe wasn't in Clara's reach. As for it containing sweet sweet antifreeze, I don't think Joy gets points for that unless she put it in and said, "Ooo, Clara. Look how yummy..."

Sister K said...

if only she'd done it on no nutrition thursday...

Kicking N. Screaming said...

This post has made me nostalgic for Mr. Yuck stickers. Do they still make those? I want to get some and put them on everything I feed to Kate & Sarah. I am easily amused.