Wednesday, September 12, 2007

How to be a Worst Mama in a three-minute span of time

1. Realize it's 2:50 PM and the bus will arrive in 5 minutes.
2. Pick up your toddler while slipping on your shoes.
3. Hear a metallic clink in your toddler's mouth.
4. Say, "What do you have in your mouth?"
5. Be shocked when she puts her hand in her mouth, retrieves a nickel, and hands it to you, nonplussed.
6. Place the nickel in your pocket as you walk out the door.
7. Step onto the sidewalk, watching the bus zoom past three minutes before you expected it to arrive.
8. Walk to the bus stop anyway, hoping against hope that someone got your kid and that you don't have to drive to school to retrieve her from the office.
9. See another mom carefully crossing your kindergartener across the street.
10. Thank her profusely. Make a mental note to bake her banana bread that will promptly be forgotten.
11. As you're thanking her she says, "Look out!" as your 5-year-old approaches a driveway with a car backing out.
12. Yell, "Freeze." Thank GOD when she does.


Farrago_NW said...

How did you do all this without spilling your highball?

Anonymous said...

A WME NEVER spills her drink.


Chaotic Joy said...

Oh I have to give you two points for this. One for leaving your kid at the bus stop, and one for making someone else stop them from playing in traffic. I would give you one for the nickle but I happen to know Ben has a couple pennies in his tummy and he seems no worse for the wear.

karen said...

I think maybe there's only one WMP here for you. Absolutely EVERYONE forgets to go to the bus stop, at least around here. Our whole block have each other on cell speed-dials and, about ten minutes before the bus is due, we're all phoning madly to find out if any of us will be at the corner at all. Out of six possible sets of parents, we usually get one person...or two, if it's rainy.

Joy's right on with the nickle, a few minerals never hurt anyone. Good job on not spilling the highball! It's fall, though - time to switch to Manhattans.