Friday, January 25, 2008

A Question for the Panel

Both boys were grounded from electronic toys for having abused the privilege (one is supposed to get ready for school in the morning - not hide out under the covers playing Pokémon). Ross is additionally grounded in total for having "forgotten" to bring his homework home twice in as many weeks.

When the kids are grounded, we offer them the chance to shorten their sentence with good behavior. Motivated by several incentives, including a new Webkinz (thanks, WW!) and a birthday party, Lars had worked off his grounding as of Wednesday. Ross was not as industrious but was on the path toward being able to go to the party...and then this morning happened.

Lars got dressed and ate his breakfast, then went upstairs for a double whammy, swiping Chris' DS (If it's not mine, I will not touch it!*) and playing Pokémon under the covers instead of brushing his teeth. Ross was discovered downstairs, dressed and working on a school activity that he spent the last two days saying he couldn't remember what he was supposed to do with and that it wasn't important, anyhow. For their actions, Lars is grounded from the electronics and Ross is generally grounded. Again.

The birthday party is an arcade party and is this afternoon. Do I call the birthday child's mother to say the kids can't come and bring the gift later or do I take the boys to the party to deliver the gift and let them explain to their friend why they can't stay to play? Lars could, technically, go to the party - he just couldn't play any of the nice electronic arcade games...

6 comments:

NCBelle36 said...

Tuff call! If I were in your situation I believe I would take the boys to drop off the gift and let them explain to their friend why they are not able to stay. Don't take them at the exact time for the party to start. Take them by about a half hour later when all of the other guests are there and enjoying the arcade. If they don't go at all then they wouldn't have the opportunity to see what they are missing out on due to their behavior and would hopefully be a reminder in the future when they are working for an enjoyable task.

Missy said...

I agree with ncbelle36!

Sister K said...

or maybe they can go to the birthday party and then have to show you their homework/or ready to get a "pass" to play so they know the punishment is not forgotten...in time, the embarassment from the teacher for missing assignments will be motivating enough to complete the work! the grade'll also show up on the report card, so there's ultimately no hiding not getting the work done....does ross have a "homework" assignment notepad? i think i had to start one about 4th or 5th grade to be a "helpful" reminder....then once he gets it done he can "collect points" or something to work toward smaller and bigger rewards

Chaotic Joy said...

I would like to chime in that there are some children who go their entire life, or at least until say...age 15, and have yet to be motivated by "the embarrassment from the teacher for missing assignments".

Oh if I could be so lucky.

I am not giving parental advice this week. But I would love to know what you decided to do. I am sure whatever it is, I will be in awe.

Kids Special Needs said...

I have kept my kids home from parties as punishment. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

After my kid has been an ass all day (or year), I"m not really inspired to take him to a birthday party (even though I could use a break from my own child).

In my family, an alternative punishment would not have suited the situation as well. I give my kids the Love & Logic "well, now I'm just to tired to do XYZ since you were doing ABC.........." They hate that and it irritates the heck out of them. The think better after that. For a while.

emmay said...

I've been out of town...what did you do?