Our 4yr old was adopted in September. She has continually had peeing/pooping issues and problems. I had to wait four months to get her into Childrens Hospital to see a Urologist. Diagnosis? Enuresis/Encopresis. They think the Encopresis (constipation & poo accidents) is causing the enuresis (wetting) because all her constipated poo is pressing on her bladder, spine, and nerves. So, we have to clear up the constipation with meds, and this will help greatly. After almost a week, she figured out something in the food/water must be making her poop. She Tuesday & Wednesday she resorted to projectile vomiting at will. Not fun. And she hadn't pooped in days. To make a really long story short (cause it's already on my personal blog) let's just get to the end of the story where the ER gave her an enema, after a five hour wait. She held in the enema. Talk about control! She was shaking and holding onto the enema. gross. My husband put her on a commode and told her she had to poo before we went home. Luckily she listened.She's been pretty pissed that going poo once or more times a day is a requirement. By the way, she's developmentally delayed, so often it's tough to communicate with her regarding anything she's not interested in. So we have to inspire her, quite often, to do the appropriate thing.
Now that she's been pissed off about having to poo (because I have threatened to give her an enema myself if she doesn't poo once day). Yesterday afternoon she went out to the dining room, pulled down her pants & pullup, sat on the dining room chair, and peed. I mean, she peed a truckload, making a puddle on the chair and the floor. Asking her "why"? She said, "I don't know". We made her clean it up and sit in her room for five minutes.
I feel like a failure as a parent, seeing as I can't convince an almost 5yr old that normal people poop everyday. And they keep their panties dry.
5 comments:
I think most children have a particular area where it becomes a power struggle. With my son it has always been food. With my baby it seems to be walking upright. She'll get there. Just keep fighting the good fight. :)
+1 WMP for making her clean up her own mess! Have you thought of baking her Ex-lax brownies? You might also consider bribery - get a couple of new books or toys and then ONLY let her have them while she's sitting on the potty?
We've bribed her. She kept upping the ante (sp?). We did stickers, candy, videos, praise, smiles, hugs, dancing, etc. Then she quit pooping again. We asked her what it would be worth to get her to poop. She said every time she poops she should get a party, like the shower my friends gave her when she and her sister were adopted. Sigh. She doesn't get a frickin full blown party with balloons, cake, and presents every time she poops. I have to admit, her request angered me. The manipulation, selfishness, greed..........it really appauled me. So then we gave her nothing for pooping other than a "atta girl".
We've even told her countles times you have to use a toilet to go to kindergarten. She doesn't care.
Have you read her the book "Everybody Poops"? I know of at least one kid who had an almost 180 turn after being read the book and hearing, apprently for the first time in his life, that pooping was not a dirty, icky secret, but natural.
Please take this clumsy wording my attempt at encouragement!
if she were a typical "average" child with no physical or developmental challenges, I might think poorly of you for not "making her behave" and do potty stuff like everybody else.
But for everything that the two of you DO have to deal with in her case, you are a VERY good, loving mommy and you're doing just fine.
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