Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Wherein Epiphany finds herself in need of some guidence, or maybe just a solution to the climb out of everything phase...

It was hot and humid in Jersey yesterday. That does something bad to my mood. I had also decided that I was going to get some damn exercise already yesterday, which meant a walk to the library - about a half mile round trip.

Before we left, we were awaiting the delivery of a new mattress for Lindsay's room for the twin bed that had once belonged to my 22-year-old sister. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the mattress that was purchased with the bed when she was about 7 or 8. I heard the truck pull up, and Lauren ran into the foyer to see who had arrived when she tripped on the rug and fell on her face for the third time that morning.

"What the [censored], Lauren?! How many times are you going to trip on that [censored] rug?"

The screen door was open, and I caught the eye of one of the burly men dispatched to deliver the mattress. He looked away quickly. My face grew hot.

We went to the library, and then our errands were to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, and the bank. At the grocery store, I snapped at Lauren to stay next to the cart and drew stares. As I was trying to get my groceries in the bag (for some reason, they refuse to help you bag if you bring the recycled bags), keep Lindsay in her stroller, and Lauren from running back and forth, I said, "Cut it out, Lauren." a bit louder than I'd intended.

At the dry cleaner, Lindsay was trying to stand in her stroller while I was grabbing the dresses and signing the credit card slip. The result was the stroller fell backwards because of the weight of the groceries, Lindsay began screaming and Lauren sheepishly tried to lift the stroller back up.

That was before the bank when I simply began barking orders. "Don't touch that!", "Open the door.", and "Put that down.". I announced, "After lunch, you're both going down for a nap because I just can't anymore..."

Lauren replied, "Ok, Mommy."


karen said...

1 WMP for Lindsay's stroller tipping over AGAIN.

1 WMP for saying [censored] in front of the delivery guy

-1 WMP for replacing a mattress that neither of your kids currently use before the mattress itself is 30 (or depositing tufts of interior around the house because the cats have burrowed into it from below...).

1 WMP for escalating shouts all over town.

Your total for the day: 2 WMP!

Spice Girl said...

My sons both sleep on mattresses purchased sometime in the fifties. -1 WMP

A friend of a friend lived at one point in a small apartment in Tokyo with 4 children under the age of 7. One day she decided it was bedtime, because she couldn't handle their rambunctiousness anymore. It was 4:30.

sister k said...

i think 1 + 1 +1 =3 WMpoints :) i think someone should invent a stroller where the kid stands, like a stand up roller coaster! should we go on America's next inventor w/ the idea?

Epiphany Alone said...

Karen deducted a point because I was replacing a mattress that was only 15 years old...Ginger concurred.

Joy, of course said...

I do have a solution to the problem of the baby escaping the stroller...

duct tape.

Seriously though, having a 1 and 3 yr old I run as many errands as possible without them Get a girl to babysit, do mothers-morning-out, grocery shop at 10:00 at night. I think we already decided that qualifies as a night out on the town. Some kids are great in strollers, and others are more challenging. Ben once wiggled out of his and opened Allison's dressing room door, semi exposing her, before I even noticed he was free. Of course I was holding/feeding 4 wk old Clara at the time, so I am using that as an excuse.

karen said...

Joy: you could get a WMP for Ben exposing Allison but she's young enough that it probably won't damage her for life and you did have a valid reason for not having your attention totally directed at your toddler, so I don't think it counts. :)