Thursday, November 15, 2007

I Didn't Even Hear You Go Upstairs

The time I usually spend reading to the boys before bed was spent watching them brush their teeth, since they couldn't be bothered to do it without me staring at them even though Chris and I must have reminded them five times each tonight. I'm annoyed while tucking them in - do they realize they're going to be too grownup to want me to read to them before bed soon? As I turn out the light, Ross pipes up, "Mama, you said you would read more of the hockey book."

"And you said you'd brushed your teeth," I replied. "It feels pretty bad when your expectations aren't met, doesn't it?" Silence from the beds - neither one of them can think of a good rebuttal. "Maybe tomorrow you guys will actually brush your teeth and I'll have time to read instead of using the time to watch you brush them?" I finish tucking in and go downstairs.

A minute or so later, I hear movement upstairs. Chris doesn't hear anything but I go into the back hall to investigate anyhow and hear laughter upstairs. Ross is telling an action story to Lars, who keeps saying gleefully, "You didn't hit my stitches! Still didn't hit them! That was my eyebrow! You're not hitting my stitches! Not then either! ...."

I get to their room and snap on the light, "Maybe you need some light for better aim?"

Both boys startle! Lars leaps up and begins climbing down to his own bunk. Ross cries, "Lars came up here and I didn't want him and he wouldn't get..."

"No, Ross, Lars came up there on your invitation and you were having a great time telling him a story and you should stop speaking now, because you have NO idea how long I've been standing here." Silence ensues. "Now, we'll try this once more. If I come up again, there will be spankings. I love you...go to sleep!"

Downstairs again, I flop into a chair next to Chris and recap my recent adventure. He looks at me with a tiny bit of awe and says, "I didn't even hear you go upstairs!"

7 comments:

Chaotic Joy said...

Ah yes. Momtuition. It's a powerful thing. Super powerful in fact. We should get capes made. I can just picture you swishing yours as you walked back out of the bedroom.

You rock.

The Plaid Sheep said...

Mom in Stealth Mode.

Sister K said...

i remember when you used to tell me stories and then pretend you were sleeping at grandma's....and now you're stopping their slumber fun? i strongly urge pts. for this one!

Grandmoo said...

Ah, your worst nightmare and my dream have come true simulaneously. You've become ME! (Gramma's worst curse at me used to be "Someday you'll have a kid just like you!" That used to torture me in the 1980s, but now it makes me smile!)

Kicking N. Screaming said...

Tut, tut, Joy! Did you learn nothing from The Incredibles? No capes!!!

Epiphany Alone said...

I'm totally banking "It feels pretty bad when your expectations aren't met", and it's worth 1 WMP.

"Maybe you need light for better aim" is an awesome moment. I'm going to award 2 WMP here because it has both the element of surprise and some great Mama sarcasm.

"You have NO idea how long I've been standing here" also gets 1 WMP.

So that's 4 WMPs for this incident. Looks like the rest of us have to step it up...

karen said...

+4 WMP! I'm getting verklempt! This is better than winning an Oscar...